Guilt
I have HUGE GUILT inside me right now! Last time my mom had cancer I was ALWAYS there for her except when I was at church. Now my mom calls me “Social Butterfly”. That means I hang out with my friends a lot. I know I will be at school soon, but it hasn’t started yet. I have been hanging out with my friends instead of helping my mom and I feel really badly! I talked to my mom about it and she said, “Keona, I might not like you always not being here, but that is just who you are now.” It made me feel better when she said that, but I want to be her helper again! I just want to be with my friends at the same time!
Everyone has said I sound very mature in this blog. I don’t think this one sounds very mature of me because I am basically saying I want to help my mom, but I need to hang out with my friends. I guess it doesn’t sound that mature. I just am that way sometimes. Very mature one day, then a kid/tween/almost teen the next. Please read my blog a lot because I like posting!
3 Comments
Comment by Donna Borntreger
July 22, 2008 @ 8:29 am #
Baby – my precious baby – you are mature because you understand the pull of our “nature” – we want what we want but we also want to serve. Yes, I love having you around to help me, but God has this all planned out. God has given us more friends than we knew we had – God has given us an incredible church. God is taking care of me. For you my precious, God wants you to spread your wings and sore – look at the stuff you are doing – VBS – All Star Praisers – you are spending time showing GOD TO CHILDREN – there is nothing more special than that!! Don’t worry – mom will keep you “in check” and I’ll let you know when I NEED YOU! In the meantime – be you – and love the blessings and opportunities God has for you!! You are a HUGE GIFT to me!!!Mom
Comment by Jan
July 22, 2008 @ 10:57 pm #
Keona,
One of lessons we can learn from reading Ecclesiastes is that “balance” is important. King Solomon wrote that there is a time for every event under heaven … a time to laugh … and a time to dance.
Time with your friends or doing something that you enjoy is important – it is restful and restoritive for you.
No matter what our age – we all need some “play” time and only when we give ourselves this gift can we continue to give our best gifts to others.
Comment by Kari
July 24, 2008 @ 6:01 pm #
You, my friend, ARE one of the most mature girls I have EVER met! How difficult it must be to choose something else over your mom. However, how AWESOME it is that you have choices & that your wonderful mom is in a position where she doesn’t “need” you all the time! This time around sounds so-so different and you, your mom, your family get to experience the body of Christ all around you. What greater blessing is there than that??! I’ve sort of taken on “mentoring” women & one thing that I always share is that women in particular wear many hats. You’re learning at an early age that you may have to wear more than one hat at a time & it’s not always easy- daughter, sister, friend, etc. I haven’t seen you in over a year & really wish I could be there to hug you. I’m so-so-SO proud of you! Never let the Enemy’s whispers of doubt, guilt, fear overtake God’s truths!
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